Tuesday, December 16, 2003
and once again, depression sinks in and i do nothing but cry...
hmm.. how do i explain what i'm feeling?...
have you ever felt like everything in the world's going wrong? that when you look at people who supposedly love you, you see nothing? that you see yourself as a burden on others' lives? that when you look back on your life, you see a futile person trying desperately to breath and stay alive? have you ever experienced the moments in the car, and you pass by smiling vendors on the street but look past their hapinnes and think of how much suffering they could possibly have experienced?have you ever felt like every single problem you think that you've resolved suddenly comes back and leaves you helpless? have you ever felt loke you were drowning in gallons of tears? tears of people you love, people ou don't know, enery single person including you? ...drowning in everyone's grief and sadness?
if you have, then you know exactly how i feel.
it doesn't feel right..
we're going to simbang gabi tomorrow. i'm really excited. why? because somehow, i'm hoping God's love will guide me to hapiness. serious!....
haaay... i hate my sudden outbursts like this. i feel like there isn't a place where i'd find peace and feel like myself. i don't feel that way anymore when i', with my family. nor with my friends. but don't get me wrong, it's not their fault. it's mine. i don't know why. i mean, i couldn't ask for anything better than my family and friends.
sheesh. it doesn't even matter. nothing does..
hmm.. how do i explain what i'm feeling?...
have you ever felt like everything in the world's going wrong? that when you look at people who supposedly love you, you see nothing? that you see yourself as a burden on others' lives? that when you look back on your life, you see a futile person trying desperately to breath and stay alive? have you ever experienced the moments in the car, and you pass by smiling vendors on the street but look past their hapinnes and think of how much suffering they could possibly have experienced?have you ever felt like every single problem you think that you've resolved suddenly comes back and leaves you helpless? have you ever felt loke you were drowning in gallons of tears? tears of people you love, people ou don't know, enery single person including you? ...drowning in everyone's grief and sadness?
if you have, then you know exactly how i feel.
it doesn't feel right..
we're going to simbang gabi tomorrow. i'm really excited. why? because somehow, i'm hoping God's love will guide me to hapiness. serious!....
haaay... i hate my sudden outbursts like this. i feel like there isn't a place where i'd find peace and feel like myself. i don't feel that way anymore when i', with my family. nor with my friends. but don't get me wrong, it's not their fault. it's mine. i don't know why. i mean, i couldn't ask for anything better than my family and friends.
sheesh. it doesn't even matter. nothing does..
i'm so far down, are you? *inna |
12/16/2003 07:58:00 PM
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