Wednesday, November 24, 2004
I need to change my template. Baaaah..
I got this from my old journal, just thought I'd share it. I wrote it way back in 2nd year. Rar.
Trapped in my own world, I started to think. I conceived that my life had meaning-I just didn't see it as that. I DIDN'T want to see it as that. The reason why, I can't quite comprehend. And because of that, This is what happened... I got trapped, no way out... No one to blame but me... Nothing around me, pitch black darkness. No meaning. My very soul felt empty. Defeaning silence, no one in the vicinity of my presence...
Haha, I sound like someone whit mental disorders. Bwahahhhhh.
Makes me think, though: How in the world did I survive? Now I'm really starting to think I have suicidal tendencies. I mean, doesn't that scare you? The fact that I sink into utter depression a couple of nights in a row really doesn't help. I keep wondering why I have so many probems with myself when I really have nothing to complain about in my life. No, I'm not saying I'm living a perfect, utterly unblemished life. It's just that if I try to dissect my life into its different aspects, there is no problem. I mean, I do relatively well in school. I have an amazing family. I have great friends who are always there for me. I may be small and a little fat, but I'm not totally demented and monstrous, am I? I have no illnesses, no disorder of any kind. What else is there that I need? Baahhhh. I need, want and strive for happiness.
Oooh, I did my homework today. I'm so proud of myself. Haha.
I gotta go, my head's starting to hurt. Yikes. I'm really not cut out for thinking too much. Throb. Throb.
*Bounce, rolls over and pukes.
I got this from my old journal, just thought I'd share it. I wrote it way back in 2nd year. Rar.
Trapped in my own world, I started to think. I conceived that my life had meaning-I just didn't see it as that. I DIDN'T want to see it as that. The reason why, I can't quite comprehend. And because of that, This is what happened... I got trapped, no way out... No one to blame but me... Nothing around me, pitch black darkness. No meaning. My very soul felt empty. Defeaning silence, no one in the vicinity of my presence...
Haha, I sound like someone whit mental disorders. Bwahahhhhh.
Makes me think, though: How in the world did I survive? Now I'm really starting to think I have suicidal tendencies. I mean, doesn't that scare you? The fact that I sink into utter depression a couple of nights in a row really doesn't help. I keep wondering why I have so many probems with myself when I really have nothing to complain about in my life. No, I'm not saying I'm living a perfect, utterly unblemished life. It's just that if I try to dissect my life into its different aspects, there is no problem. I mean, I do relatively well in school. I have an amazing family. I have great friends who are always there for me. I may be small and a little fat, but I'm not totally demented and monstrous, am I? I have no illnesses, no disorder of any kind. What else is there that I need? Baahhhh. I need, want and strive for happiness.
Oooh, I did my homework today. I'm so proud of myself. Haha.
I gotta go, my head's starting to hurt. Yikes. I'm really not cut out for thinking too much. Throb. Throb.
*Bounce, rolls over and pukes.
i'm so far down, are you? *inna |
11/24/2004 09:10:00 PM
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